Just a quick note about The Anime Laws. I did not write these, nor do I know who did. I recived them as part of an email from a friend who found them on the web somewhere. All I did was put them into HTML and remove some outstanding spelling errors. If you do know who wrote these please tell me so I can give credit where credit is due.
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The normal laws of physics do not apply.
Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborn, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.
In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.
In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.
The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.
Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.
'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.
It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.
Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).
Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.
Everything explodes. Everything.
Anything that explodes bulges first.
Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Match Stick City".
Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.
There is alway an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustability.
The destructive potential of a weapon is inversly porportional to its size.
No one *EVER* runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.
The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increaseses the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.
The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.
Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts manuvres.
Minmei is a bimbo. (* Note: The Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees)
The human body contains over 12 galons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.
Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons.
Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines full of cruel, heartless, blood-thirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignifigant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.
Tactical geniuses aren't....
People never notice the little things.... Like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.
Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying.
The really nasty 'Bad Guys' are always skinny Americans.
The stupid 'Good Guys' are always big Americans.
The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect)
The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.
The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking.
Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.
The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.
Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.
All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.
Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.
*ANY* shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.
Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines. Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. Whenever there is a headwind, a Male character will invariably wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out dramatically behind him.
All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.
Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they have never done it before.
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